undo it....

can i undo my past?
surely i can't go back,
but is there no way to do that?

like friends,
some of them i've lost contact with.
can't i say hello now and talk to them again?
what would they think of me?

some of them,
we juz grew apart or had a fight.
can't i say sorry now and start all over again?
will it be like one republics song? too late to apologize?

what if i talked to my ex,
or sent a message to him.
what would he think?
i haven't talked to him for 5 years already.
would he think that i'm trying to get back with him?
or would he still remember me?

we were young then,
and he,
he's not the guys who remembers,
not me.
i'm juz plain jane.
i'm no hot chick,
i'm no smart ass,
i'm no drama queen....

the truth is,
i did.
....sent my ex a message
i mean. i asked him how was he.
his answer was

"juz like that... ha ha"

what the heck!!
that makes me look pathetic huh....

the truth is,
i made a mistake.
i didn't know him good enough.
we were young and naive.
at least i was.

i think i loved him.
maybe i just like to see him,
like the idea of him being by my side,
as my boyfriend.
maybe that was it.
but i was sure i cried my heart out
when he dumped me.
maybe it was the truth that hurt me,
not him.
the truth was i was single again and he won't be mine.
not anymore.

i changed,
a lot since then.
i tried to make myself more attractive
know more people,
socialize more.
i got over him,
got over the idea of him not being mine anymore

but now,
i feel that
it's partly my fault that he dumped me.
i didn't know him well enough.
i tried to undo that.

now,
still trying.

i don't want to be that stupid girl who wasn't even remembered by her ex-boyfriend!!!!
NOT ANYMORE!!!